The good character is what everyone is looking for regardless of religion or origin. Over the time, civilizations sought for defining a human frame to what is good manners that it would be agreed upon. Human nature tends to softness, mercy, tameness, and more other attractive qualities. Islam highly recommends the softness of the heart and the kind action. It mixes limbs and heart deeds. The prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) called it the good manners or the good character. Abu Ad-Dardh narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: “Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.” The prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) made it a reason for entering Jannah and he said that The fear of Allah and good morals (Akhlaq) are the two major characteristics which lead to Paradise. So, what does good manner mean?
Abu Wahb narrated that: ‘Abdullah bin Al-Mubarak explained good character, and then he said: “It is a smiling face, doing one’s best in good, and refraining from harm.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi). This what the Muslim character should quest, and let its action be based upon. Sayyiduna ‘Ali (radiyallahu ‘anhu) reported that Nabi (ﷺ) told me, “Should I not show you the noblest character of this world and the Hereafter? [It is:] Joining ties with those that sever ties, and that you give those who deprive you and pardon those who oppress you.” The good manners are the characteristics of all prophets, messengers, and noble men. The prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was the exact example of the good character, Allah said in Surah Al-Ahzab, Ayah 21 ”There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.” (لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا). The good manners start in the prayer niche and go to the action niche. It starts with fearing of Allah and the remembrance of Allah, and it goes aside with your everyday interactions with all the creatures of Allah. Sayyiduna Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: ”The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was the best of all the people in behavior.” Sayyiduna Anas served him for ten years, he did not hear from the prophet what may harm him. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), never insulted any of the believers with an insult except that there was expiation and mercy for it. Good manners are also about tender heart, forgiving and consulting people, Allah said in Surah Al-Imran, Ayah 159 ”So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].” (فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ ۖ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ ۖ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ).
how to improve your good manners
There are some methods which help to obtain the good manner qualities, for example:
1- Believing in Allah, and getting closer to Him, the closeness to Allah urges the soul to act upon His Commands.
2- Accompanying and setting with well mannered people, Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: ”I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, “Man follows his friend’s religion, you should be careful who you take for friends”.
3- Knowing the virtues of having a good character and the reward that will result from it in this world and the hereafter.
4- Understanding the consequences of evil manners in life and the hereafter, that the evil manners destory person’s life and the people surrounding him.
5- Reckoning the soul, the soul is approaching evil based on its nature. So, judge yourself before the Day comes and Allah judges you. Umar bin Al-Khattäb said: “Reckon with yourselves before you are reckoned with, and prepare for the Greatest Inquisition. The reckoning of the Day of Judgement is only light for the one who reckoned with himself in the world.”
6- Reading the Holy Quran, and getting knowledgeable about the Commands of Allah.
7- Reading and studying the Seerah of the prophet Muhammad is the most affective way to acquire the good manners.
8- Praying to Allah and making Dua for guidance, it was narrated that the prophet Muhammad used to pray and say ”O Allah! You made my physical form good, so make my character good!’.
