Kindness to Women in Islam

  In the pre-Islamic society, women were despised and belittled. They were deprived of their human rights and mistreated. For example, women were deprived of their rights of inheritance and the right to choose their spouses, among other rights. Islam came to abolish all these traditions and customs through its distinguished legislation. The Islamic legislation preserved women’s rights, an aspect that is mostly ignored by people who attack Islam with the claim that it requires women to cover their heads with scarves (Hijab). Islam raised their status and valued their honour.

    Allah revealed a Surah that is named after them, called Surah Al-Nisa. This Surah tackles most of the issues related to women, leaving no question without an answer that may arise in the mind. The Prophet Muhammad, PBUH, was a mercy to mankind, and all rights were preserved through his teachings and commands, including women’s rights. The Prophet Muhammad, PBUH, addressed women specifically in his Hadiths and teachings, as mothers, daughters, and wives. He said in his Farewell Pilgrimage, after praising and glorifying Allah and admonishing people, “Treat women kindly, they are like captives in your hands.” (Hasan Sahih).

     Kindness to Women: The Wife

  The Prophet Muhammad, PBUH, commanded men to treat their wives with honour and love. He made the good treatment of a man’s wife a sign of his goodness and righteousness. Lady Aisha reported that the Prophet Muhammad, PBUH, said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family. When one of you dies, speak no ill of him.”

The Prophet Muhammad, PBUH, set an example of how a man should treat his wife practically. It was reported that Lady A’isha was asked, ‘What did the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?’ She replied, ‘He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.’ Based on this Hadith, Muslims should understand that a man must share some responsibilities with his wife. It was not a source of shame or embarrassment for the Prophet Muhammad to give a hand to his wife. This is an important example of kindness to women in Islam.

Allah gave us in His Holy Quran a clear command regarding how wives must be treated. He said in Surah Al-Nisa, Ayah 19: ”O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا النِّسَاءَ كَرْهًا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا).

Allah summarised most of the issues that people face and how they can handle them.Thus, it becomes clear to men that women’s rights must be fully met regarding the dower and alimony. They must be treated with affection and mercy.

     Kindness to Women: The Mother

A person came to the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and asked, “Who among people is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (ﷺ) said, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Who next?” “Your mother,” the Prophet (ﷺ) replied again. He asked, “Who next?” He (the Prophet (ﷺ)) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” Thereupon he (ﷺ) said, “Then your father.”

Righteousness towards one’s mother is one of the best deeds and one of the easiest ways to get closer to Allah. If you are looking for a reason for answered duas, mercy from Allah, a blessed life, and success wherever you go, you have a gate of righteousness through your mother. This is an important aspect of kindness to women in Islam. Good treatment is shown through sweet words, good company, and gentleness. Some say that debating your mother and seeking to win is an aspect of disrespect. A Muslim should treat his mother humbly and modestly.

    Allah said in the Holy Quran: ”And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” (وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا). And when your mother gets older, Allah said: ”If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا).

Even the Prophet Muhammad showed us how a Muslim must treat his non-Muslim mother and that a Muslim should maintain his kinship ties and be good to her. Lady Asma’ bint Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her, reported: My mother, who was a polytheist, came to me when he (the Holy Prophet) entered into a treaty with the Quraish (of Makkah). I inquired from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), saying: Messenger of Allah, there has come to me my mother and she is inclined; should I (in this state of her mind) show her kindness? He said: Yes, treat her kindly.

     Kindness to Women: The Daughter

  It was mentioned in the Seerah of the prophet Muhammed, PBUH, had four daughters, and he was always delighted with the birth of a daughter. He was happy and rejoicing with the birth of Lady Fatima, and he expected good of her that he called her ”Fatima Al-Zahra”. The prophet Muhammed chose an honorable man for his daughters. It was reported that Sayyidna Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them and shows mercy to them will definitely enter the Garden.” A man from the people said, “And two daughters, Messenger of Allah?” He said, “And two.” This Hadith confirms the daughter’s rights to education, good behavior, and proper treatment.

The prophet Muhammed set an example of all goodness in this life, a comprehension of all amazing ethics towards all creatures, may Allah help us to follow his footsteps and guide us.